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Bet You Never Thought You’d See Me Again…or not

BOO! Holy shit, I totally forgot about this thing. Honestly. Around the last time I was posting (almost three years ago wtf me) I apologized repeatedly for my absence due to college and having a life, something I didn’t have too much of when I started this blog. Then I just faded off into the world and FTLOH completely left my mind until a few minutes ago when I was perusing twitter and saw two of my favorite hockey twitter/media/whatever people (Russian Machine Never Breaks’s Ian Oland and Steve “Dangle” who has a great YouTube series reviewing every single Toronto Maple Leafs game) interacting.  And I thought wow, when blog/youtube/hockey worlds collide. And then I thought oh shit, I used to have a fucking blog. And somehow I remembered the password and here we are. I needed to post.

So hi! I sincerely doubt that anyone was religiously reading this blog though I do have a nice few followers (shoutout to you all if you’ll even see this it’s been 3 years I’m not sad if you don’t). I’m mostly surprised to find that I actually, even though I wasn’t posting, still had readers.  A few thousand. You go, hockey community. I also came back to a few nice comments, one on my “Hockey Players Aren’t Attractive” post saying that I’m an idiot/blind for thinking Malkin isn’t cute (I’m not an idiot he looks like Frankenstein but to each their own), and another on a post about my tried and true Chicago love Jonathan Toews, that he is an “ugly little punk ass” and “they’re all ugly” (idk who “they” is because my post was only about Tazer but I digress) and that I like “little boys with little sticks”. Rea, Mike, if you’re reading (you probably aren’t the comments were years old), thanks for my first hate mail. You guys rock.

So much has happened in almost three years. Skimming through some of my last posts is pretty nostalgic, since a lot of guys I talked about are no longer Capitals. And a bunch of other dudes are probably all over the place. Greenie is gone, Neuvy, Laich, Erskine, (fucking TJ Oshie is a Cap!!!), Brouwer, Volpatti, Ward, Chimmer, Fehr, literally everyone. Gone.

Holtby wasn’t doing the best when I was last here, and he won the Vezina last year.

Ovi last just had 400 goals, he’s closing on 1000 points.

There’s going to be a whole NEW HOCKEY TEAM.

Fucking Pittsburgh won the cup and Chicago has won it 100 times and oh man, so many things.

My life has changed too, if you care. Well, not a whole lot. 99% of my about is still true, minus the college thing. College grad now, thank you very much. And I don’t really care as much about Eberle as I used to (no offense Ebs).

But anyway I felt like posting, just for fun. Maybe I’ll hop back on the wagon, seeing as people still like to peruse the blog and I still love hockey. No promises, because we all know how well that went last time.

Thanks for stopping by.


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Holy Rustiness, Batman!

Merry Christmas hockey fans! This is a long time coming…this glorious day of hockey! I was so excited to watch my boys again annnnnd…they let me down. But that’s okay, because apparently half the NHL sucks too! Yay! Bullets, shall we?

Okay. Caps bullets first.

  • I love Ribs and Wolski. They’re like…we need them. If they weren’t on our team we wouldn’t have gotten much done. Well, there was the lovely Joel Ward scoring two goals, but I’m pretty sure both of his goals were assisted by those guys one time or another, so, yeah. Ribeiro and Wolski were awesome sauce.
  • YAY TOM POTI GETS ASSISTS! It’s spectacular to me that the man hasn’t played an NHL game in a little over two years and bam! Assist. Yay Tom.
  • Don’t really know where our top line was tonight…
  • Sucks for Jack Hillen getting hurt. It’s a good thing we have plenty of defensemen…
  • BUT THEY SUCK OMG WHAT WAS OUR D TONIGHT?!?!?! The only people I’m happy with are Greenie…ish, and the lovely Carlzner! We need Orlov, because that sucked. Doesn’t help that none of our D played an actual game while we were in a lockout. Mamma mia.
  • Braden Holtby breaks my heart. PUT YOUR BUTT IN THE NET, HOLTS! I saw Oates said he doesn’t blame Braden, but forreals. He should’ve had a few of those.
  • At least we’re shooting the puck. And I believe we got a PP goal! But we can’t take stupid penalties. That killed us.
  • I’m hoping we’ll get better over the next week.

Okay. So, the Caps were not the only team playing today! Lots o’ action in the NHL. Let’s talk, shall we?

  • The Kings put up their banner! It was a nice ceremony and they all passed the Cup around again and had lazers…and then they lost 5-2 to the Hawks (<3). I am SO glad I didn’t take Quick for my fantasy team! Boy, that was quite the game. My Hawks were looking sharp! 
  • The flippin Penguins won ): But at least Sidney didn’t get any points! That’s what really matters. I’m glad Geno did though because he IS on my fantasy team. Thanks, G. Still dislike you.
  • Ottawa beat Winnipeg 😀 That’s what I like to see…teams beating the southeastern conference…other than the Caps of course.
  • Speaking of which HOW ABOUT THAT FLORIDA/CAROLINA GAME?! And people were saying they don’t think the Panthers will be good this year. Looked pretty awesome to me. Poor Canes. Poor Staals. Poor Sasha.
  • Boston beat NYR despite Hanks STELLAR saves. Love that man, he’s a beaut.
  • The Maple Leafs won?! Huh. Good for them.
  • The Isles lost, but what else is new?
  • The Blues kicked some Red Wings ass. I have lots of St. Louis guys on my team so (:
  • I’ll put this next one together. Dallas and Columbus won. Kewl.

Welp. That’s the haps. I pinky swear my next post will have pictures/videos/something cool. I promise. Ta ta for now!

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Hockey Is Back! Me Too!

Hellloooo, fancy seeing you here! I’m baaaaaaack, and so is the NHL OH YEAAAAH! I’ve honestly been so sad these past few months without hockey. I didn’t know what to do with myself! Here’s some things we missed while I was off sulking and attempting to find a life outside of hockey…

  • Nicky played for Dynamo with Alex and they were both awesome! Both in the all star game too…or at least would’ve been.
  • Nicky is hurt ): He better be better soon for the season. That is unacceptable.
  • ALEXANDER OVECHKIN IS ENGAGED!!!! Who would’ve thought. YAY OVI!
  • John Carlson has some loooooong hair. Cut that shiz, JCar.
  • Hmm… oh. We get the Holts while he’s been doing awesome in Hershey! Yay Holtbeast!
  • Went to the Hershey game at VC. It was lovely, but definitely not the same atmosphere as a Caps game. Good nonetheless!
  • Yeah. That might be it.

Anywhom… hockey starts the 19th! Just 12 days away! I’ll be counting the seconds. It’ll probably be a tough, short season, especially with Carolina having Sasha and the Staals and whatnot. And then the Rangers are just scary. But who knows…maybe things will change. Hopefully the Caps will kickass and win the Stanley Cup! Yay hockey!

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R.I.P., Sasha Minor.

I have gathered you all here today so we can mourn the loss of our lovely Alex “Sasha” Semin. I just can’t believe he signed with Carolina. I totally didn’t see that one coming.

Sasha…I’m going to miss you. I doubt you’ll ever read this, unless you enjoy reading 18 year old girls’ hockey blogs in your spare time. For some reason I don’t think you do. But I just wanted to say this anyways. I know there were lots of Caps fans and just hockey fans in general who think you’re overrated and you don’t care and yadda yadda yadda, but I most definitely was not one of them. You were my first favorite Capital when I made the transition from Isles to Caps about five years ago. You have so much skill it’s incredible. It’s been such a pleasure watching you skate, snipe the puck past unsuspecting goalies, and do your famous curl and drag. And I’ll never forget that one time at Kettler you nonchalantly walked past me pretending to be on the phone. I got a nice picture of your foot going in the door. I wish you all of the best in Carolina. Thanks for not signing with Pittsburgh…I probably couldn’t handle that. I’m sure Ovi is glad you’re there so you guys can see each other more times than if you went outside our division. And last but not least, score a bajillion goals and be fucking awesome so all the douchey critics can feel like shit for ever talking your abilities down. You’re awesome and you will always hold a special place in my heart. ❤

Hello again people not named Alexander Semin. I really just had to write that…I don’t know why. It needed to be done. I’ve been sitting here all sad thinking about him leaving. We’re running out of Russians! Who is Ovi gonna talk to now…little Dima? Is he gonna try and steal Nicky backstrom (Hahah. See what I did there?) from Mike? And who is Sasha gonna talk to?!?!?! There are no Russians on the Canes! At least I don’t think… And there’s two Staal brothers! That’s going to be awkward, especially because Semin played the bongos on Marc a few years ago. I just have all of these feels. I’m going to miss that crazy Russian and all of his hooking penalties.

I found this video of some highlights of Alex and thought it was great. Just shows you how incredibly talented he is.

AND NOW WE CRY. SASHA IN ENGLISH. He’s so cute and stuff and I can’t. “I like play here.” ~Le me sobbing uncontrollably~ I LIKE YOU PLAY HERE TOO SASHA. Washington will always be your home. I’m going to miss you so much.

I can’t go on any longer. I’m off to find my Semin shersey, some chocolate, and some happier videos. Until next time.

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Zach Parise Is The Ultimate Troll.

New tactic…don’t make promises you can’t keep.

Hello all. How goes it? Swell? Wonderful. I write to you from a new computer, so bear with me. This also means no pics today. My apologies.

So last time we chatted I was going to post about the NHL Awards. Yeah. Didn’t happen did it? Anyways I didn’t get to watch the red carpet portion unfortunately, but I did watch the show. The Shanahan skit was pretty funny. The presenters, though, sucked. AND NICKELBACK PERFORMED WTF NHL?! As if it wasn’t bad enough, every other commercial was Nickelback. I wanted to die. But Gabe won! He was so cute. AND HANK OMG HE SAID AH FUCK AND THEN LAUGHED BECAUSE HE WAS NERVOUS IT WAS SO CUTE. I really couldn’t understand Malkin but whatevz. I don’t really remember anything else. I was too busy swooning over Gabriel Landeskog and Henrik Lundqvist (;

And then we had the draft! AND WE PARTED WITH CODY EAKIN ): My little ginger squeaks. I am heartbroken. But not really. He’s just eh and I didn’t even find him to be that attractive. Have fun in Dallas with Jagr and Sloany, Squeaks!

The major highlight for the Capitals though was managing to get adorable little Swede Filip Forsberg at pick numero eleven! And he was ranked high too! But whatever other team’s losses. We got a little Swede and he’s cute. AND HE’S YOUNGER THAN ME MY GOSH I’M A COUGAR. But you know who isn’t younger than me…the other total babe we drafted Tom Wilson! Hubba hubba O.O He’s a looker.

You know what totally sucks though? The fact that I’ll be at the beach during development camp. And I won’t get to see the loveliness that is Tom Wilson and Filip Forsberg. Oh well.

Oh also, there’s now a Staal family reunion going on in Carolina. They’re all there except for Marc, the red-headed stepchild. Poor Marc.

Lalala let’s fast forward to Free Agent Frenzy. …It wasn’t a frenzy at all. I took a nap in the middle it was that boring. Caps got two dudes, Parise/Suter watch, TSN bashing my Sasha. That was basically it.  So now, we wait to see where Semin will end up, and if the Caps decide to do anything else besides sign people I’ve never heard of.

You know what was really stupid and douchey? The fact that Zach Parise called a press conference to say he hasn’t made a decision, and wasn’t planning on telling the media who was in the running until he made said decision. That was the dumbest thing ever. I’m sitting here refreshing Twitter like a maniac praying he doesn’t go to Pittsburgh and he’s like “lol I don’t know what I’m doing” and everyone was like ):< Super angry face. But he didn’t go to Shittsburgh (HALLELUJAH!) so we’re cool now Zach. Have fun in Minny.

I really don’t like this new keyboard. It’s hard getting used to and I press keys and the letters don’t show up and it’s in a weird position and blah. Basically what I’m saying is that I’m done for the day and the next time I return I’ll have something special. I guess. But just to let you people know…if anyone reads this anymore on a regular basis…that I’m going away for a little over a week SO that definitely means no posts. Perhaps when I return we can cry over where Alex Semin ended up? Yeah? Okay. Have a lovely evening/day/afternoon/whatever time of day it is where you are!

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I Suck.


I’m so not in the mood to retype that. So I’ll just post the video I posted before and call it a night, and update on my life/hockey haps another time. Yeah? Yeah.

Credit to the owner of the vid! This made me get a little teary eyed, not gonna lie. I just miss my babies! When they celebrate, and chirp, and all the Holts love… AND HANK TELLING HOLTS HE’LL BE SEEING HIM OMG MY HEART. Too cute.

This also hurt because there was a little bit of Papa Knuble in it, and the lovely Knubes isn’t returning to us next season </3 I’m gonna miss that beaut.

Anywhom. Tomorrow is the NHL Awards, so you know I’ll have something spectacular for that…like my fangirling and pictures of sexy hockey men in expensive suits (; But yeah. Thursday or so…expect a post.

And I promise I’ll try to do this more often…not once a month like it’s been. No more school or vacations for a while, so if something interesting in the hockey world happens you know I’ll be sharing it! But yeah. Until next time…

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You Are The Best…Yeah You!

Hi guys. I’m sorry I haven’t posted in a while…I’m getting ready to graduate high school so things have been crazy! Not only in my life, but in the playoffs as well. But before we get to that…

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reads my blog. I haven’t been here in a few weeks, but somehow still manage to get reads. I’ve had this thing for about a year and a half and have over 20,000 views, which absolutely blows my mind. I know there are other quality blogs out there like Russian Machine and so on who get probably that amount in a month, but wow. I’m just so…I have no words. I remember in the beginning I could barely get 100 views in a month. Now I get hundreds a day. That is so incredible and I really wanted to thank you. Whether you’ve been here from the beginning, or recently, or just stopping by to look at the loveliness that is Jonathan Toews, because I know there’s a lot of you who do(; …just thanks so much. You’re all awesome, no matter who your team is, where you’re from, etc.

Time to wipe away the happy tears and talk some hockey!

So. I kind of suck. I had the Blues, Predators, and Flyers winning. Did they? NO. I don’t know what happened. If you told me at the start of the season that the Kings, Yotes, and Devils would be in the final four I probably would’ve laughed. Really hard. I’m just so shocked. Good for those teams though.

I’m torn between the Kings and Coyotes. On one hand, I kind of like the Yotes because I have family there and I’ve seen them and their goalie is great and our friend Boyd is there and yadda yadda yadda… But then the Kings are pretty good too, and Quick is amazing. They’ve only lost like, what, one game? Not to mention their Twitter account is brilliant. Hysterical. Big high fives to whoever runs it. So I can’t decide.

These goalies in the Final Four are outstanding, no? Mike Smith has been great. Jonathan Quick is always stellar. Marty B was and is an awesome goalie. And then the last spot could go to the King, or this kid who is so confident and amazing to watch in goal? My husband? The one the only Braden Holtby? What a great group of guys.

Speaking of husbands…how great is Nicky Backstrom? His hit against Anisimov (who I’m still adopting even though I’m not a big fan of the Rangers at the moment) and then that beauty of a goal on his fellow Swede? PLAY OF THE YEAR! And how great has number eight been? He almost scored on his ass last night. I’d probably cry for the rest of my life if that happened. Carlson has been great in the playoffs, and Roman Hamrlik doesn’t piss me off that much anymore. But who does? Dennis Wideman. He’s in a funk. I don’t know what’s up with him.

Well, that’s it! No playoffs until Saturday, when I HAVE TO WORK. Ugh. I’ll need to take a sick day or something…I can’t miss game seven. That or I’m changing the channel and I’ll be doing register the whole night. I don’t care…I’ll be watching.

Sorry for no pictures or videos or anything today. Maybe tomorrow I’ll do something cool. Like share these pictures of Jonathan Toews “modeling” which are so funny. I’ll think of something.

Again, thank you all so much. Much love ❤ Have a lovely day.

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